This morning I woke up cold. The same kind of cold I've been waking up to for weeks.
For weeks I didn't do much about it other than bundle up or take a show or leave home.
I would usually do all three, in fact.
T?his morning, I flailed around and ended up realizing a window I sleep next to (not the one in the above photo) was neither locked nor shut properly.
And that is why I've cold for nearly an entire month.
Since then I've bordered between relief and rage.
It's as if I found out I've been gaslighting myself.
They say you are the only one who can save yourself.
I think I'm getting tired of doing that.
I think I might not be good at it anymore.
Maybe I lack motivation. Maybe I've been doing it for too long.
I could use a break, but I have no one who can spot me.
Who would want the job when the biggest obstacle to saving myself is myself?
For that matter, which of me is winning?
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