I'll Try Anything

Dear God:

Remember the people you heard from a few months back praying for summer to come soon (as if you've ever skipped)?

You know, those people who annoyed me all of fall, winter and spring, saying they couldn't wait until it was so hot they'd be dripping head to toe in ball sweat--even the women?

You can check, but I think they're all melted now.

Yeah, melted. Or they just dropped dead for the heat. I forget which. We can search the web together later, if you want.

Anyway, even though I think it's cute that you've been on a roll giving halfwits what they want--since, oh, about, late 2001, if I had to guess--I think, you can let up now with the heat. Maybe even start working towards fall, if you can.

I mean, hey, it was funny that first week, with everyone hoping it was going to be so hot and sunny for the weekend that they couldn't do anything but sit on the porch with a tray of ice down their pants. But you know, c'mon...

Just a suggestion.

Your estranged bud,

Chad