Feeling Sad

I get up early this morning only to find more to worry about with friends (Jade, you're in my thoughts). I'm going back to Bellingham this weekend to help celebrate the birthday of my friend's wife, Karen who turns 40 this month. But tonight, it's a movie night with my Mom. Luckily, I have such a cool Mom, our choices include "The Usual Suspects" and the classic George Carlin library. When "Fargo" came out, it was my family, including "Shane" loving my Dad, who were the only ones laughing in a Franklin theater. I would say our family has always had pretty good taste in film.

She's been doing better. Her new rented space in the Uxbridge antique shop has been very profitable for her. Besides that, she has been spending a lot of time with friends and taking small trips with the family (it was Foxwoods a couple of weeks ago).

During the long weekend, I was foolish enough to make the following statement: "It sounds like you're enjoying yourself."

Her: "Well, actually, no, but you know, you do what you can."

Doesn't sound too far from what I feel, actually. For some reason, though, I was hoping she'd answer differently.

I've been spending the week dealing with her saying that. Combine that with friends' news, and talking with Ryk McIntyre in a bar on the origins of the whole page vs. stage scene in Boston (i.e. the silly slam poetry backlash), and it's been a depressing week.

Y'know, I was thinking about going to work real early today, but y'know, fuck it. I need time with my thoughts, even if I have to polish them up for public consumption here.