Years ago, I would come on this blog to announce my participation in what are called 365 blogs, private Blogger pages (at least the ones I took part in were made by Blogger) that challenged poets to write a poem a day for an entire year. I kept up with it for a while, even had a lot to show for it and then some before finally petering out in 2013.
I had a lot happen in regards to my work that I don't want to get too much into. Long story short, I began to feel like I was diluting my poetry even by just showing it in a regular private format before I got it published for the whole wide world to see.
Maybe I was bootlegging myself.
In short order, I kind of got soured on the whole process of sharing work that no one would comment on unless I provided comments for their own work. Of course I wanted to engage in the dialogue, and it was easier to do so when I started and had less to do.
Today, on top of editing Oddball Magazine, editing my own poems, improving Stone Soup Poetry and my other ever-growing real world responsibilities, the process of acting like an unpaid writing instructor for an oversized class became really grueling and unrewarding, my work wasted for having shared it in the first place.
Mind you, this is all different than just showing your work in a one-off workshop or working with a smaller more trusted person or group of people in a live interaction, which I still do. Even past online workshops I've been part of had a regular fixed group of people. Hell, even if I go to a workshop and only know one or two people, at least I am interacting with other people in real time. Today, with the daily blogs, filled with more and more people I don't even know who don't seem to care, I couldn't help but wonder who or what I'm participating for.
The late comedian Patrice O'neal once talked about his frustrations about doing free things like podcasts and how it felt like it was giving away too much of his "spirit" away. I keep relating to his comments. As a poet, most of my work is basically free, and I will rarely be compensated for my efforts. That doesn't mean I don't want to control how I share my work, if only a little. I want to get something more than feedback in a vacuum.
A couple of years ago, I started once again to write poems I didn't want to share until they were ready, submitted and published (eventually, several were). The number of poems I wanted to keep private steadily increased over time.
Even regarding the Stone Soup Croutons poems, I don't want to blog them elsewhere or even post them on Oddball as some kind of weekly column, as Jason Wright once suggested I do. The minute I do any of that, the poems will stop being fun to write.
I still tried to participate by posting limericks I submitted for contests, haiku and various humorous throwaway pieces that left me feel like I wasn't even trying. That wasn't fair to anyone who did like me and respected my work.
Today, I can't even be bothered to do what I considered cheating. Why not just double my efforts and submit my work to be read? One of the good things about letting go of the challenge was going though the backlog of poems I had written and forgotten about. I don't know about the rest of my fellow writers, but I have to fight for my time to pause and reflect.
I have mostly been an observer on one private poem-a-day blog because the people who ran the blog were nice enough to keep on inviting me. Now I may not even accept the invitation for next year's.
I will still do the National Poetry Writing Month challenge every April because I have done that for years even before the poetry circles I travel in thought it was fashionable. If I do any additional challenges from here on, it will be for a very good reason.
I had a lot happen in regards to my work that I don't want to get too much into. Long story short, I began to feel like I was diluting my poetry even by just showing it in a regular private format before I got it published for the whole wide world to see.
Maybe I was bootlegging myself.
In short order, I kind of got soured on the whole process of sharing work that no one would comment on unless I provided comments for their own work. Of course I wanted to engage in the dialogue, and it was easier to do so when I started and had less to do.
Today, on top of editing Oddball Magazine, editing my own poems, improving Stone Soup Poetry and my other ever-growing real world responsibilities, the process of acting like an unpaid writing instructor for an oversized class became really grueling and unrewarding, my work wasted for having shared it in the first place.
Mind you, this is all different than just showing your work in a one-off workshop or working with a smaller more trusted person or group of people in a live interaction, which I still do. Even past online workshops I've been part of had a regular fixed group of people. Hell, even if I go to a workshop and only know one or two people, at least I am interacting with other people in real time. Today, with the daily blogs, filled with more and more people I don't even know who don't seem to care, I couldn't help but wonder who or what I'm participating for.
The late comedian Patrice O'neal once talked about his frustrations about doing free things like podcasts and how it felt like it was giving away too much of his "spirit" away. I keep relating to his comments. As a poet, most of my work is basically free, and I will rarely be compensated for my efforts. That doesn't mean I don't want to control how I share my work, if only a little. I want to get something more than feedback in a vacuum.
A couple of years ago, I started once again to write poems I didn't want to share until they were ready, submitted and published (eventually, several were). The number of poems I wanted to keep private steadily increased over time.
Even regarding the Stone Soup Croutons poems, I don't want to blog them elsewhere or even post them on Oddball as some kind of weekly column, as Jason Wright once suggested I do. The minute I do any of that, the poems will stop being fun to write.
I still tried to participate by posting limericks I submitted for contests, haiku and various humorous throwaway pieces that left me feel like I wasn't even trying. That wasn't fair to anyone who did like me and respected my work.
Today, I can't even be bothered to do what I considered cheating. Why not just double my efforts and submit my work to be read? One of the good things about letting go of the challenge was going though the backlog of poems I had written and forgotten about. I don't know about the rest of my fellow writers, but I have to fight for my time to pause and reflect.
I have mostly been an observer on one private poem-a-day blog because the people who ran the blog were nice enough to keep on inviting me. Now I may not even accept the invitation for next year's.
I will still do the National Poetry Writing Month challenge every April because I have done that for years even before the poetry circles I travel in thought it was fashionable. If I do any additional challenges from here on, it will be for a very good reason.
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