What the Hell Was I Doing in Florida?

 

I originally had plans last year to attend a poetry event in Ireland until the pandemic hit. That didn't happen, and I was left with timeshare we had to use up at some point. I checked to see what was available for August in both Cape Cod and Florida (where the ticket prices went way down). 

The fact that Cape Cod was considered at all shows this was a while back.

The fact we still went to Florida shows how desperate we were to get away even after news of the Delta Variant hit. We thought about it and decided to head to Fort Lauderdale anyway.

We stayed away from people. WE wore masks inside supermarkets, only going out to eat twice in restaurants that had staff wearing masks (and this wasn't always the case). The cleaning staff at our resort all wore masks. The people managing the place did not and got way too close to me at times, which made me very uncomfortable. I could have asked if they were vaccinated, but that still seemed too rude.

We stayed inside a lot during nine-plus heatwave days, going out to get food and hit the thankfully socially distancing beaches. News kept coming out about Ron DeSantis' mad tactics, which have helped to cause the deaths of several essential workers. It was scary watching it all unfold, wondering if the coming storms were going to force us to stay longer.

The work colleagues I mentioned the trip to told me I'd be okay if I just adhered to the safety protocols I've been following since the pandemic started. I've been checking my temperature since getting back, and I'm fine. Still, I can't help but feel irresponsible and selfish for my choices. If any of my loved ones become sick because I didn't put my foot down, I won't forgive myself. This anxiety is going to stay with me over the next few weeks.

The last day of the vacation was when I found out about Smokey's death and had my glasses knocked off my head and into the ocean after a particularly brutal wave. Lost forever. Irresponsible and stupid. I was blind for the entire trip home because I was too stupid to even bring my spare pair of prescription sunglasses. Maybe I got what I deserved. My girlfriend's looking into prescription goggles. I'll probably end up losing them too next time.

 I needed the time off, but I don't know how rested I truly am.

It was fun to watch my girlfriend and her daughter play in the ocean while I stayed back on shore and wrote. It was also fun to play in the ocean myself until, y'know, the waves.

I got quite a bit down on paper last week, and I'm sure as hell not done writing about Florida. You'll see some of my work soon.