Wish I Was There

Protesting the RNC is much more fun than watching it. I had this drilled into me last night.

Gullinani, looking like a propped-up mini-me version of Cheney, was on every channel. Went to FX TV for mindless relief... and there's Courage Under Fire, the Gulf War One Movie where 90's Iraq was made to look like a worse threat than they really were.

Of course, what else could I expect from a Fox station? Damn liberal media.

I salute everyone who has protested or plans to protest in New York. I hate myself for not joining any of you on the streets.

Granted, I do have a legitimate excuse to not be there. I just started a job where I'm going to have to plan a month ahead of time for any personal days and won't even be able to until next month. Still, it reminds me too much of 9/11.

I was working at Legal Seafoods three years ago. Two years prior to that, I was swept up in Y2K mania. I did my damndest to get New Year's off, because, to probably misquote myself, "I don't want to be serving salmon at the end of the world." I ended up getting the holiday off and it felt great, even when it turned out I was worrying about nothing.

When 9/11 happened, I was pretty much broke and gearing to recover what I lost from apartment problems and vacationing with my girlfriend in spite of apartment problems (I have not taken a vacation for almost three years now, not wanting to repeat past mistakes). That Tuesday morning, I was training a new group of servers when the bartender came in with his bike and gave the news. I thought he was joking, of course. I changed my mind when I got to the TV just before the last Tower fell.

I had only one theory: someone was taking revenge for Timothy McVeigh being executed (read about The National Alliance, The Turner Diaries and how he's connected to them before you judge me as nuts).

But what was my first actual action? Going back to teach the class.

Going over the fine art of...serving salmon.

When the world ended. At least as I knew it.

The boss actually had to stop me, I was so mindlessly loyal to a job and class/service system I hated with all my heart.

I've been so ashamed of that reaction to the crisis that this is the first time I've been able to write about it at all, let alone think about putting these thoughts in an essay or poem. You think Michael Moore is too unforgiving of G.W. staying in the classroom for too long, you'd better not ask what I think about that.

I hoped that I could redeem myself in New York this summer. However, I guess my parent's comments about improving my life influenced me too much. I love my new job; but if there's one regret I have about improving myself, it's that it made me too responsible to a system that doesn't care too much about me.

Now the one chance I'll get before the end of the year might be only in reaction to the stupid decision that I feel the majority of scared and/or stupid people are going to make in November.

How about this: If Bush loses, I'll bring some bubbly to whoever will take me for a couple of days in New York.

It's a start, right?

Again, to all New Yorkers willing and able to walk the streets and carry a sign or a prop, I salute you.