30 Questions/30 Days, Day 9

Moving on with repeat questioners, here's another good one by Charles Coe:

Why didn't Krispy Kreme Donuts make it in Massachusetts?

You know, that's a damn good question.  I think it was back in summer 2003 that I made my first and last pilgrimage to the Krispy Kreme in Medford, Massachusetts.  It would have been difficult for me to make the journey without a car.  Luckily, I had my friend Bret, who stopped there while taking me home from the Bridgewater Poetry Slam (which later evolved into the late Poetribe series).  I'm grateful to Bret for making the trip.  If anything, it gave me insight as to what the big deal was all about.  Krispy Kreme would later move into places the Prudential Mall, but  it was just a pale imitation of what I saw that night.  If you were a Bostonian, and that was your only Krispy Kreme outlet, you just didn't get the hype.

Regarding the Medford location: It was sometime around midnight when Bret and I arrived, but Krispy Kreme kept their doors open unitl 3 AM.  First thing upon entering, you got a doughnut.  And by that I mean you got a doughnut for free just for entering the place. Fresh and hot, by God.  And from the beginning of the entrance way all the way to the ordering counter (a long walkway, which was packed even at that late hour we were there), you got to see the entire doughnut making process from beginning to hot moist end.  It was almost food porn with all the decadence on display, yet innocent like the old FAO Schwartz automatons that greeted you their world of toys.

I remember having...something..by the time I got to order.  It was good, no doubt, but it didn't compare to that first warm doughnut I had.  And maybe that was one of the biggest problems.  So much pageantry up front with a payoff that couldn't compare with what you got at the start.

That last sentence was pretty porny, so I'll apologize and move to my theories as to why Krispy Kreme didn't work out.

1. See the above references to pageantry.  Maybe they overdid it way too soon.
2.  Brand loyalty.  Massachusetts is highly loyal to Dunkin' Donuts.  A lot of people were claiming brand loyalty and decrying the competition before it even started.  Plus...
3. Let's not forget that prior to this, less than ten years before, we saw the eradication of one particular local chain, The Coffee Connection (which I briefly worked at while it was being Starbucked to death).  I wonder if this was a subliminal influence on people's minds.  Also...
4.  People were not anesthetized enough by corporate saturation.  Starbucks was seen as the enemy back in 1995.  Today in 2013, now it's the norm, or at least the necessary evil that helps keep bookstores alive in suburbs.  So ultimately...
5. Krispy Kreme probably moved in too soon.  I think if they had waited another five years, they may have stood a better chance of staying.  But let's not overlook...
6. Krispy Kreme doughnuts: They were so decadent and almost impossible to justify.  They tasted like guilt.  I think you could say the same for any doughnut (albeit to a lesser extent). However, with Dunkin', you could at least go in saying you went in initially for the coffee and rationalize the bear claws as you go.  Coffee was likely not Krispy Kreme's strong suit, so what else was there but the decadent stuff?  You can take your kids to the candy story every once in a while, but not once a week and not even once a month!

I'll end things off with a haiku (in light of last night being Stone Soup's Head-to-Head Haiku event) and a video of Louis CK reflecting on that other guilt food, the Cinnabon.

Alas Krispy Kreme,
gone for years and dougnuts
now digesting.