Today I took up a challenge to try and write a Shel Silverstein style of poem with a positive message during the pandemic. His poems were sadder than I remembered. Decided to mimic the poem "The Bagpipe Who Didn't Say No."
The Face Mask Who Didn't Say No
It was nine-thirty in the morning, COVID-19 day infinity
when a drunkard met a face mask still unopened by a tree.
And the drunkard said, "Oh, jolly!
May I pick you up? I'm sorry!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "I have since been out of work,
and things like mask and toilet paper have been lost to hoarding jerks.
Can I carry you away, please?
Oh, say that's it's okay please!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Sorry if I'm too upfront,
but we work with what we have, and I've not a can to punt!
Can I pick you up and use you?
It's okay if you refuse to."
But the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Oh, thank goodness for my face!
With the pair of us together, we'll outlast the human race!"
So he picked it up and slipped it
on his face, but when he sniffed it,
well, the face mask smelled very bad.
Said the drunkard to the drunkard, "Did you biff it, stupid mask,
just so I could sniff it? I don't think you're up to task!
You just smell far too offensive
to be my sole defensive!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Thanks but no thanks for the help.
I suppose things could be worse. I could be laid off from Yelp!
Should I go off to the shelter
stay no matter how I swelter?"
And the face mask didn't say no.
So the drunkard took to angling toward the shelter, spilling gin
and the face mask was left dangling on a branch, where it still spins.
You could go down there today, man,
see the mask there, tell it hey man,
ask it if the drunkard made it. Did he really truly go
to the shelter and survive? And the face mask won't say no.
The Face Mask Who Didn't Say No
It was nine-thirty in the morning, COVID-19 day infinity
when a drunkard met a face mask still unopened by a tree.
And the drunkard said, "Oh, jolly!
May I pick you up? I'm sorry!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "I have since been out of work,
and things like mask and toilet paper have been lost to hoarding jerks.
Can I carry you away, please?
Oh, say that's it's okay please!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Sorry if I'm too upfront,
but we work with what we have, and I've not a can to punt!
Can I pick you up and use you?
It's okay if you refuse to."
But the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Oh, thank goodness for my face!
With the pair of us together, we'll outlast the human race!"
So he picked it up and slipped it
on his face, but when he sniffed it,
well, the face mask smelled very bad.
Said the drunkard to the drunkard, "Did you biff it, stupid mask,
just so I could sniff it? I don't think you're up to task!
You just smell far too offensive
to be my sole defensive!"
And the face mask didn't say no.
Said the drunkard to the face mask, "Thanks but no thanks for the help.
I suppose things could be worse. I could be laid off from Yelp!
Should I go off to the shelter
stay no matter how I swelter?"
And the face mask didn't say no.
So the drunkard took to angling toward the shelter, spilling gin
and the face mask was left dangling on a branch, where it still spins.
You could go down there today, man,
see the mask there, tell it hey man,
ask it if the drunkard made it. Did he really truly go
to the shelter and survive? And the face mask won't say no.
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