30 Questions in 30 Days Cancelled

Remember that post saying I was going to answer 30 questions in 30 days?

I'm not going to mince words. I didn't get any. I know if I tried, I could get some friends to send questions, but I'm not going to bother.

Sorry, guys.

Coming This April: 30 Questions in 30 Days Returns!

Remember when I did thirty questions in thirty days a few years ago?

I'm doing it again next Month.

I'm going away in April, so I'm starting to gather questions early.

Send me your questions in the comments section of my blog or my Facebook post. Or email me at chadpoetforhire@yahoo.com

I have to right to refuse questions (especially if it involves other people), but I will keep an open mind to whatever you ask.

Done and Done

I finished my 30 questions in 30 days side project.  You can see them all via this link.

And check out my other epic project, the 30 poems/30 days project, right here.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 30 BONUS

Bonus question from Cynthia Daniele, who sent me a question when I thought I was one short.

If hell is repetition, what is Heaven?

No more morning meetings.


Thank you good night!

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 30

Charles Coe brings it home, and Lo Gallucio wants to know if I can answer it in one word.

What's a synonym for thesaurus?

Yahooooooo!!!

Thank you.  Thank you.

P.S.  It is also a synonym for dictionary, rhyming dictionary, etc.  I couldn't have gotten through the 30/30 poetry challenge without it.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 29

Lo Gallucio asks:

Can you explain enjambment?

Forcing a
pause
to work the clause.

And I'm out.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 28

Margaret has a serious queston.

 Do you like chicken legs?

Yes, and I almost had some fried today for lunch until I realized I still have arteries.

But everyone likes chicken legs, even the tyrannosaurus rex, according to in-depth research, as noted below.

See?  Definitive.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 27

Cynthia Daniele: What was Cinderella's biggest mistake?

Insufficient arch support.  She paid for that after all that ballroom dancing..

 

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 26

Stone Soup co-host Michael F. Gill!

How do you enjoy it?

Medium, except when my uncle cooks.  He thinks medium  steak means cold in the middle.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 25

Charles Coe!

Who parties harder: Brazilians or Australians?

Seems too stereotypical to say Australians because of all the Fosters commercials.  I'd say Brazilians with their colorful outfits.  In the grand scheme of things, I think secretly Eskimos have both groups beaten down.  Logically speaking, with all that cold, they have more motivation to keep moving.

I'm not even trying anymore, am I?

30 Questions/30 Days, Days 21-24

April Penn hit me with four questions in a row.  If I had been able to keep the daily grind, I would have had four separate posts.  Instead, here's all of them at once.

How do you go on after you've tasted your own destruction? 

Use mouthwash.

What social roles do you most often play? 

An organizer of people, the hardest role a natural misanthrope can perform.

What is the opposite of memoir? 

Admitting to your partner you messed up.

What is the opposite of persona?

 The face you make while sitting on the toilet.  Mind you, that's going by definition 4 over here.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 20

Beatriz Alba thinks I'm all spiritual: 

What the most celestial thing you ever experienced?

Well, I haven't had much in the way of religious experiences, but one time, a year or so after my best friend from high school died from an auto accident, I had a dream he appeared in.  We were both walking the Framingham State campus at night (which I often did alone) and having a conversation.  When people who die appear in my dream over the years, I end up figuring out it's not them and it messes with my head.  This one time, I woke with a sense of calm I hadn't felt in a while.  

For more details, read the poem below.  It's from my first self-published chapbook, and I am likely to take it down later.

Edit: You snooze you lose.  It's gone.  You'll have to buy my first chapbook to read it.  Click here if you're interested.
 

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 19

Gloria Mindock wants the dirt:

Have you ever sang in public? Come on...

Three times.  All karaoke nights.  Once at college, at a CYO dance, and a bar in Faneuil Hall. I sang "Born to Be Wild," "We Will Rock You" and "Sussudio."  

This will either be more or less impressive when I add the fact that I sang them in the voice of Howie Mandel from "Bobby's Word." 

There might even be recorded evidence of this, but I'll keep that to myself for leverage.  Leverage for who, I have no idea.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 18

Here's Charles Coe:

What's the weirdest thing you've even eaten?

 Okay, I was never the most adventurous eater.  When certain GI issues came into play, I became even less adventurous.  The things I list as strange may be seen as...pedestrian.  But here goes:

1. Crab linguini.  Food from a high-school friend whose family invited me over to dinner. It was the first and only time I had crab that was...crunchy.  I haven't experienced that before or after and sometimes wonder today what the hell did my friend's mom do with that crab?  Keep the shells on?
2. Dog kibble, which the same friend offered to me one New Year's Eve.  He somehow convinced me it was chopped up steak.  I don't seek out this friend nowadays.
3. I go vegetarian when I'm eating with my girlfriend.  There is an amazing vegan Thai restaurant not too far from the Tremont Street theater that we go to sometimes.  There is a faux chicken dish that is strange only in its ability to fool my taste buds into thinking it's actually chicken.  How is it so convincing?  It makes me think that something evil is being done to make it so convincing to me.  Like they use the souls of dead chickens in the kitchen or something else that would be more troubling to a vegan than using actual meat. 

 And that's that.  I didn't even list alligator in New Orleans.  It seemed exotic when I first heard of it.   Now it seems too touristy to list.
 

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 17

Cynthia Daniele again: 

Vinyl Siding. How do we stop it?

 Return to the woods.  Go log cabin.  That's what my RI friends plan to do when they can retire.

 

Of course, if my friends go with vinyl in their Walden knock off, this post will feel more foolish than it does now.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 16

Chris Warner asks:

What is the sound of one of anything?

...

Here's a poem (dammit, I thought I was done this month).



What is the sound of one hand clapping.
The same as one lone potential wife-beater slapping.
Not far from one mistimed snare snapping. 
Maybe even a dry dog's poor tongue lapping.
Close to the sound one bomb victims dance tapping.
Sadder than one clipped bird in its cage flapping. 
Not as sad as one sawed down maple tree's sapping.
Saddest though is one unclaimed gift not unwrapping.
And then we have one Tupac's posthumous rapping,
Not to be confused with one raven's rap rapping.
What about one henpecked husband's fake napping?
Or one poor undercover cop's entrapping?
One percent tears from salary capping?

It all comes out as one butt cheek crapping.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 15

We're back.  Let's go back to what would have been day 15's question.

Cynthia Daniele asks:

Do dogs look both ways before crossing the street?

Well, as a non-dog owner, this took research. 

First, I looked at my sister's dog, Smokey, to determine if  he even had a neck.

Luckily, we have video evidence.

Though he doesn't seem to turn his neck, just tilt it.

And judguing by his singlemindedness when lunging for stuffed toys...

I wouldn't bet on it, Cynthia.

P.S. I know I have a too much spare time.

30 Questions/30 Days Continues..and ends...Today

On the same month as National Poetry Month, not only did I choose to average a poem a day for thirty days, I also agreed to ask 30 submitted questions in 30 days.  After the Boston Marathon bombing, it didn't seem right to keep it going.  When the bombing suspects were caught, I decided to move ahead with finishing the 30 poems.  Now that I'm done with that, I'm going to answer the remaining questions, and I'm going to do it today. 

Check out what I've done so far, and stay tuned.

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 14

Charles Coe closes out the weekend's worth of questions:

Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Well, I have a serious and snarky poetic answer to this.  Mostly because I was genuinely curious about the answer.

For the serious answer, click on this link and ask yourself why we don't call pigeons rock doves more often.

Now the snarky poetic answer:



Baby pigeons die
in droves each time you attempt
one-hand clapping sound.

I leave you with a moment of baby birdiness, as taken outside my mom's house a couple of summers ago.


 

30 Questions/30 Days, Day 13

Cynthia Danielle asks:

Who are you?

Damn.  Always the hard ones on a weekend.



Well, Cynthia, normally, I would have stolen my girlfriend's idea of just doing a video montage of photos set to various songs that claim an identity ("Loser" by Beck, "Joker" by the Steve Miller band, etc.) .  Thing is, this is a question a day and now it's late because I helped hold a birthday party for my mother, which involved meeting up with her and other family in a popular cafe diner in Franklin, Massachusetts.  It's not where she lives, but why should I do the heavy lifting for all the identity thieves?

Other highlights of the day include me having to go to the bank (which bank I'm not saying because, hey, identity theft and all) and withdraw money from my account because I had accidentally taken money out of my Mom's account (we have our names on each other accounts in case of emergency,and in this case the teller really screwed up).   I also mulled over the flowers we had sent to her and how they looked smaller than promised.  All topped off with a cake brought by my sister's crew with the candles forgotten.  So in all a typical Saturday, right?

Anyway, after the lunch, the cake, and all my chores that took place before that, I got back and even had to take a nap for a while.  Now I have to start writing out a profound statement of identity, and there's not even a scholarship or better paying job at stake.

My first reaction is to say, How do you NOT know me?  I'm one of the most annoying presences on most people's Facebook page, promoting myself, Stone Soup, and other poets ad naseum.  One would think people would want to know less about me. 

But obviously, you're looking a little harder at my public facade and want to get at the real me.  You don't buy clever wordplay, and surely I can't wear the cool hat I wear in my profile pic all the time.  Surely my real and symbolic bald spots have to come out.  If you could sing it like Roger Daltrey and yell, "WHHHOOOOOO ARRREE YOUUUU!" I'm sure you would.  So let' satisfy your curiosity.

Who am I?  I'm a guy who hopes he does right by his mom.  Even though he took home the rest of the cake.  After all, she insisted!

Hope that clear things up.