In a Perfect World

Scene: Secret location on alternate Earth where George Carlin never died and waits for the end of the world from his secret location on a comfortable sofa. George Carlin acolyte--who George Carling cant stand but keeps around out of pity--enters.

Acolyte: Lord Carlin?

Carlin: Don't call me that you silly prick! What's up now?

Acolyte: L--Sir! There's an opportunity to do a sequel to your "Soft Language" bit. 

Carlin: What're you talkin' about? That piece was almost fifty years ago, it was perfect, and all the alt-right bastards who tried to use that routine to support their anti-PC Nazi agenda can go f--k themselves!

Acolyte: Well, yes, but...It's Elon Musk.

Carlin: What the hell did he say this time?

Acolyte: It came from Space X. A starship just exploded.

Carlin: Did it go up to the stars?

Acolyte: No...

Carlin: Then f--k it, it's not a starship. Just a shitty jet. Go on.

Acolyte: Well, yes, they called the explosion a...

Carlin: Yeah?

Acolyte: A rapid unscheduled disassembly.

Carlin and Acolyte stare at each other for several seconds.

Carlin (standing): Get me a joint and a typewriter! Hurry!

Acolyte (being ordered for a first time): Yes, Lord Carlin!

Carlin (wincing): And get a joint for yourself  too! We gotta lighten you the f--k up!