American Haiku: Trump Tickles

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Trump Tickles

I'm very sorry
for calling my foes Shylocks.

You're more Fagin types.  

American Haiku: Heeeeyyy Zacharia

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Heeeeyyy Zacharia

Trump gives her ten stars 
out of five, would so date her
if she looked more like Ivanka.

American Haiku: B.O.B.S.

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: B.O.B.S.

Bombs Over Blue States!
Let Iran join us in our
war on the American people!

American Haiku: Trump Beats Back Press

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Trump Beats Back Press

 

Beginning next week,
I will fuck your farm fresh eggs!

They're unfertilized! 

 

American Haiku: RIP Freedom (Fest)

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: RIP Freedom (Fest)

 

Americans have

gotten tired of freedom!

So much winning...So much winning...

American Haiku: Seven Republicans with Tears in Their Eyes

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Seven Republicans with Tears in Their Eyes

 

Lord Savior Trump,

we're terribly sorry, but

we just don't feel like killing brown people anymore.

American Haiku: Trump's Safe Space

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Trump's Safe Space

 

Don't talk about polls!

I know I already won.

Just tell me how in November.

American Haiku: The Real Question

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: The Real Question

 

The one big question

about Venezuelan deal:

Do we now occupy Venezuela? How to pay for this?

American Haiku: Trump Plays Othello

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Trump Plays Othello

 

Arresting people 

for just voting against me.

I mean noncitizens! Yeah, noncitizens...

American Haiku: Trump Plays Chess

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Trump Plays Chess

 

La la la la la!

We're not listening, Iran!

(Have they opened the Strait yet?)

American Haiku: Trump Cuts Gordian Knot

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: Trump Cuts Gordian Knot

 

If we ban vaccines 

for kids, that's less to spend on

healthcare right? Free non-healthcare for all!

American Haiku: That New Old Poem

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

American Haiku: That New Old Poem

 

First they came for the

rapists and sex traffickers

and then woman president?!?

American Haiku: Trump Laments Lindsey

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Trump Laments Lindsey

 

Alas poor Lindsey.

I knew him. But tomorrow

I probably won't. 

American Haiku: Trump Understands Women

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Trump Understands Women

 

Do you know something

I don't know? Why do woman

keep knowing things I don't know?!?

American Haiku: One Perfect Follow-Up After Another

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: One Perfect Follow-Up After Another

 

Perfect peace deal done!

the bombings will continue

until my perfect peace plan improves!

American Haiku: Trump Does a Negotiation

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Trump Does a Negotiation

 

It's deal and no deal!

Peaceful bombings continue
until America reenters World Cup!

American Haiku: 250th Anniversary Edition

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: 250th Anniversary Edition

 

Moment of silence

is reserved for the losers. 
U-S-A!  U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
U-S-A!  U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

American Haiku: Trump Does Logic

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Trump Does Logic

 

Help me pass this law

ending birthright citizens.
It's my birthright. It's my birthright. 

American Haiku: Waving a Finger

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: Waving a Finger

 

Senate tells Trump no

some thousands of bombs later.
They are heroes. They are heroes. 

American Haiku: The New Old Deal

When I started my Sarcastic Haiku series, I wrote my first American Haiku. An American Haiku doesn't care about tradition, formality or history. it takes as long as it wants to make its point because America. You can read others I've written since by clicking here and scrolling down. 

 

American Haiku: The New Old Deal

 

Same as before but

way more dead Iranians.
Trump wins again. Trump always wins again.